barn_swallow

Over the past few years I've had the misfortune of becoming *gasp* almost 30, and I'm knee deep in the attendant Baby Questions. Although I intend to answer them with slightly-sarcastic but somewhat good-natured humor, I find that when they come up I'm nonplussed at the time, uncomfortable until I'm away from the Questioner, and angry the rest of the day. In this post addressed to any Questioners reading it, I'll try to explain why.

Things That Are OK
- Asking "Do you have any kids?" when getting to know someone
- Discussing the topic when it comes up in the natural course of a conversation with a friend, as long as you respect their thoughts, feelings, and boundaries
- Liking, wanting, and/or having kids

Things That Are Not OK
- Asking "When are you having a baby?"
- Asking "Why don't you have kids?"
- Assuming that all people like, want, and/or can have kids

( Do I really need to explain why? )

Going Forward
Feel free to dismiss this post as not applicable to you. You might think I'm too uptight and your friends and relatives don't feel this way. Plus of course you don't mean any harm when you ask. Maybe you're right! But keep in mind that intentions aren't magic, and remember this post when your Baby Questions are met with something less than enthusiasm.

This is incredibly late! Unfortunately, my mom spent the first two weeks of March in the hospital with an intestinal infection. I spent a lot of those two weeks going back and forth to the hospital, plus I stayed over a few nights. That has really messed March up and pushed back this post. Here’s the February report - March is going to be such a failure it may not be worth posting.
( Uncluttering and photography were good, everything else was not so great )

So I wrote this a few weeks ago for December and then never posted it so I’m putting January intoo. I kept a log in a spreadsheet so I can report to you. (Original resolution post is here!)

( Fails for sleeping, exercise, and birding. Gold stars for uncluttering and photography )

Overall assessment: I’m happy I did what I did but I definitely want to do more. The first two resolutions are the most important (I could do the other ones more easily if I weren’t exhausted/weak all the time) and they’re the ones I did the worst on. I’ll really focus on those and tell myself that now that the holidays are over my schedule can be more normal.

A friend of mine told me she does birthday resolutions instead of New Year’s resolutions, and I loved the idea so I’m stealing it (my birthday was at the beginning of the month).  I also feel like have all these boxes to check off before the completely arbitrary deadline of turning 30 next year OMG.  I think my resolutions in the past have been a little vague so I’m trying to make these easier to follow and track (kind of like 6 Changes, which didn’t go so well).

Age 29 Resolutions
1. Go to bed by 11PM every day.
2. Exercise/physical activity every day.
3. Spend time outside at least once a week.
4. Bird at least twice a month.
5. Blog at least once a month (this includes reading friends’ blogs and catching up on comments).
6. Unclutter at least one day a month.
7. Learn or practice a new photography-related concept or skill every month.
8. Learn Portuguese.
9. Make money at photography.
10. Set up wills already.

So how am I doing for November so far?

1. Not so hot, really.
2. Also not good but I will change!!
3. I’m surprised to recall that I spent several hours outside every weekend this month.  Awesome!
4. Hawk Mountain was once, so I better bird at the Cottage this weekend. ← Quantifiable goals in action! Instead of resolving “I should bird more” and then every weekend saying “I’ll do it next weekend,” now I see that I haven’t met my numerical goal so I better step it up.
5. This is the second post this month!
6. I can’t remember if I’ve uncluttered this month specifically but in the past few I’ve done a lot.  I’ve gotten good at identifying things I don’t want or need, but the problem seems to lie in actually getting this stuff out of the house.
7. Not done.  I guess I could try some HDR stuff at the Cottage?
8. Ugh ok.  Portuguese is HARD.  None of the letters are pronounced the way you expect.  For some sounds I have to consciously think “Ok put your tongue there and your teeth there and don’t do that with your lips” etc etc.  Half of the syllables aren’t even pronounced.  Carlos taught me a few obscenities but he laughs at my accent.  Too bad it’s time to suck it up!  I have Rosetta Stone and I make Carlos talk to me only in Portuguese so it’s an immersion program.  PLUS my new LOTR Blu-rays have a Portuguese audio track - since I have those movies memorized, I won’t even need a translator!
9. Hah no. This is like a mondo beyondo goal- something I really don’t believe I can do but will push myself toward anyway.  Obviously this goal is a little vague but I’ll work out some steps to reach this.  Maybe my November goal could be to come up with the steps to do this?
10. Really needs to be done to prevent custody battles over our sweet Loki - I’m sure everyone would want him if we both died!

I’ll do a status post in a few months and we’ll see how this goes.  You can yell at me if I fail!

Yesterday on Twitter I posted a link to an old LJ post (the first time I ever mentioned Twilight, all the way back in 2006 - I disliked it before disliking it was cool!) and I realized how nice/amusing it is to reread old posts.  It's like a diary and time capsule and I really want to get back into it!  So here's my first post in months.

I've mostly stopped writing on here because I have no idea what to write about.  The day-to-day boring minutiae end up on Twitter (@barnswallowkate - let me know if you're on Twitter so I can follow you!), my photos go on Picasa, and my book reviews go on Goodreads (click that and come be my friend there!). All of those sites require a lot less writing so I guess I've been taking the easy way out.

Plus, not much has been going on in my life over the past year.  Things with Carlos are pretty much the same as they were before we got married.  I'm still working at the same company, although I did switch around to a few different programs this year.  We hadn't even worked on the house until recently.  Everything happening in the world depresses me so I don't want to write about that either.  I’ll just try to recap a few slightly-non-boring things from the past year.

( Some good things, one sad thing, a few trips and hikes. )

So there is a not-actually-all-that-short summary of what I've been up to.  I warmed up my blogging muscles and I will try really hard to keep up with this! I've found a lot of you on Twitter and have tried to catch up on most of your LJs as well, but let me know if I missed anything big in the past few months.

One of the most important parts of our wedding (to me) was having pictures to remember it by. So I spent a decent amount of time looking online for a wedding photographer.  I found so many websites that I wished I could fix, but since I can't, I'm making this list instead! Obviously these are just the opinions of one customer, but I am sure other people will back me up on some of them.

Also, this is all assuming you already have a website for your wedding photography business. If you don't, I don't know how you are getting work! Get on the internet!!

1. Go easy on the Flash. Yes, OK, me having an iPhone is my problem, not yours.  But even on my real computer, elaborate transitions between pictures can get really annoying.  If I am trying to run through 100 pictures in an album and it takes 5 seconds just to go from one picture to the next, I am going to get tired and stop.  And in your galleries, don't make me hunt around for the "Next" button by hiding it until I mouse over some magical spot.

2. For the love of God, no auto-playing music! This wasn't cool on Myspace in 2004 and it isn't cool now.  Think of your poor customer!  Maybe I'm watching Doctor Who while I look for a photographer and now there's jazz coming from the TARDIS and it's confusing.  Maybe my cat is on my lap and when I open your page he's startled by the music and runs away and now I'm bleeding.  If you really think your photos need musical enhancement to get the right emotional reaction, have optional music that the viewer can turn on.  Then see how often it actually gets turned on.

3. If you're cagey about your pricing, I assume I can't afford you.  This may be your goal.  If not, at least give me a base price.

4. Need input!  I am nervous about screwing up this important aspect of my wedding.  I will be reassured if you tell me about your experience, why you are a wedding photographer, and what the process will involve.  Answer some FAQs or walk me through an example wedding day from your perspective.  This may just be me, but I like photographers' blogs because I get a sense of them as a person.  I see their photographic skills in non-wedding situations, how actively they are out taking pictures, and if they share articles or tips that show they know what they're doing.

5. This is your resume. No typos, no grammar errors.

The photographer I went with (Edward Underwood) had a very non-annoying website.  Of course I picked him because I liked his pictures, but the website was a plus!

Part 1 (Arrival and Arenal) is here and Part 2 (Monteverde) is here.  More pictures (and fewer words) from this part of the trip are on Picasa here.

Friday, April 9, 2010
Once again we had a long drive, but this time it at least half of it was paved and not so winding.  Our GPS had a tour guide function that told us about things we drove past.  As we drove over the Rio Tarcoles we noticed lots of cars parked by the bridge.  I figured people were fishing but then the GPS told us that everyone had stopped to look at crocodiles!  Of course we pulled over & checked them out ourselves.  Several of them were really, really big.


Birds on the drive: *Wood Stork, *Northern Jacana

( Click for the SCARLET MACAW ADVENTURE, beaches, and evil monkeys! )

Final Thoughts
- I ended up with 90 lifers!
- I should have learned some Spanish before the trip.  Although many people there speak some English, it would have been helpful.  Carlos tried to get by with Portuguese but there are many words that just aren't the same.
- Driving was OK because Carlos drove and he's used to driving in Portugal.  The roads were potentially very dangerous, though.
- Monteverde was my favorite place, and the only place I think I could live in Costa Rica (everywhere else was way too hot).
- This trip rewired the birding circuits in my brain.  For a week or two after I got home, my heart fluttered every time I saw a bird fly by, thinking it was a potential lifer.  I saw Cardinals and Mourning Doves and our other common birds in a new light - they are pretty enough to be jungle birds.  The trip also reminded me how fun it is to see lifers, so I am searching for them more at home now.
- I wish I had a week at each location instead of a week total.  I wish I had seen a tiger heron and a motmot and a tapir.  I wish I'd gone on a mangrove tour.  I can't wait to go back someday.

Read Part 1 here, and see pictures on Picasa for this part starting here.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010
About midday on Tuesday we left the Arenal area and drove west around the northern shore of the lake.  Apparently there is sometimes a road around the southern shore of the lake, but we didn't want to risk it in our rental 4WD.  The drive took a long time - it's not a huge distance but most of the way was unpaved and the entire way was winding and hilly.  We got to Monteverde and found our hotel just as the sun was going down.  We made arrangements through the hotel (Hotel Los Jardines) to meet a guide at the Monteverde Cloud Forest Reserve the next morning, got some dinner, and were done for the day.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Monteverde Cloud Forest Reserve is famous worldwide for its birds, specifically the Resplendent Quetzal.  It was the main reason I wanted to go to Costa Rica and it did not disappoint.


We met up with our guide and two other tourists shortly after the park opened.  It had been so hot in Arenal that thought I could wear shorts and a t-shirt.  Monteverde is at a much higher elevation and is on the Continental Divide, so it was pretty chilly.  I ended up having to borrow the guide's coat!
( This entry is long too! )

Friday, April 9, 2010
Friday was our last day in Monteverde, and we were heading home on Sunday.  First thing in the morning we went back up to the cloud forest to see if we could see another quetzal and to get some souvenirs.  I had no luck with the quetzals which made my sighting the day before pretty special.  I was sad to go but it was time to head to the beach!

Back in April, Carlos and I went to Costa Rica for a week.  We hadn't been on a vacation alone together in years, basically since we bought the house (mortgage = no travelin' money).  Carlos wanted to go somewhere as a Christmas present to me.  Costa Rica had been on my list of places to go for a long time, mainly for the birds, so that's what we went with!  We tried to hit the most famous parts of the country, staying a few days each in Arenal, Monteverde, and Manuel Antonio.  It was a busy trip so I'm going to split it up into three parts beginning with Arenal.  I'll include bird lists - asterisks mean lifers! - with links to articles or pictures about each bird.

More pictures from the entire trip (with fewer stories & explanations) are on Picasa.

Saturday, April 3, 2010
We got in to San Jose in the late afternoon/early evening.  My grandmother was already in Costa Rica, visiting a friend who lives in San Jose, so they were nice enough to come pick us up at the airport and bring us to our hotel!  We stayed at Hotel Aranjuez, which was very nice. After we dropped our stuff off at the hotel, my grandmother's friend took us to her church to see an Easter-eve service.  It began with a fire outside the church, which they used to light big church candles.  Everyone inside (including us) had their own candles.  People lit their candles from the church candles, then spread the light to the people around them, who spread it to the people near them, until the church was glowing with candlelight.  It was very pretty! 

After that there was some singing and then apparently they began reading the Bible from the beginning.  It was in Spanish so I had no idea what was going on.  After about half an hour of that with no end in sight we ducked out because I was starving.  We ate at a restaurant where my grandmother's friend had been going for years.  I tried black beans for the first time, they are really good!  Most of the restaurants we saw in San Jose were chain restaurants we have back here in the US.  It was a little odd.  Finally after dinner we went back to our hotel to get ready for lots of driving the next day.

San Jose birds: Great-tailed Grackle (saw these in Arizona a few years ago - no lifers yet!)

Sunday, April 4, 2010
We had breakfast at the hotel in the morning.  The gardens there were lush and beautiful:


I finally started getting some lifers as I ate breakfast. 

Hotel Aranjuez birds: *Rufous-collared Sparrow, *Rufous-tailed Hummingbird, *Clay-colored Robin (Costa Rica's national bird)

( On to Arenal, with many pictures )

The next part is Monteverde, aka birders' mecca!